babies.kids.moms.wives.: Independence Starts Early

Random thoughts visited my inner head from day to day including crazy thoughts and fun thoughts purely about myself alone for more than a month now. Although my brain, to be honest, had been disintegrating solely for the purposes of subdividing it for different subjects I have in school, I still could not subject myself to detach from our house, my son, my husband, our home and our family. I only realized later tonight that much have changed on my son’s attitude. There was a mixture of dependence and INDEPENDENCE.

School has taken much of my time away from my family especially my son, who really needs me and my guidance more than anyone else. I must admit that I could not take care of him the way I did before because the course I am studying now is a very jealous profession. It took much of my time, that even 6-hour reading a day would never suffice the expected answers that our Professors wanted from us. With so much awe I had for this course, I unwontedly and yet permissibly let days passed without me making something for my son like painting activities or drawing session and even our play times had been forgotten.

To my surprise, I had somehow helped him grow when I stayed focused with schooling. I unexpectedly taught him independence. Yes, certainly he is just 2 years and 3 months old and yes, he needs my undying support and nurture. However, at some point, I need to detach my emotions as much as he needs to detach his emotions from me. Not all the emotions but the term being “DEPENDENT” is what I must give highlight for this matter. The simple logic is that, I certainly do not want him to grow and reach 4 or 5 years old and see him whining in school because he won’t let go of my hand during his classes. It happened to me when I was the teacher and the kids won’t let go of their moms and they wanted their parents to be inside the classroom. Plus, they wanted their parents to answer their school activities for them. If I will allow that, I am no longer helping my son.

I have realized that my son could already do the following:

1. He removes his own underwear, pyjamas and shorts. He wears the pyjamas and shorts without buttons.

He would insist “Don’t help me. I can do this.”

2. He wakes up in the middle of the night just to let me know he wants to pee.

He would tell “Mommy, wiwi ako”

In English “Mommy, I want to pee.”

3. He already masters the DO’s and DON’T’s of potting training.

4. He asks for his tooth brush after meals and even after eating sweets.

5. He distinguishes the things which he’s allergic to like chicken, egg and chocolate.

One instance he said ‘Bawal ako niyan chocolate and egg kasi kati kati ako tapos pimple ako”.

In English: I’m not allowed to eat chocolate and egg because it gets itchy and I get pimple. (Although that pimple he was referring to was the itchy spots on his face whenever he eats chicken, egg or chocolate — for asthma.)

6. He distinguishes what are some of the simple bad things and good things.

One example was when his Tita Alexa went out of the house to get something outside and it was raining so hard, he said “Tita Mae! Huwag ka labas! Ulan! Baka ubo ka naman! Galit si mommy sayo.”

In English: Tita mae! Don’t go out! It’s raining, you might get sick. Mommy will scold you.

7. He knows how to open and close the fridge all by himself.

8. He masters the time when the chickens should be fed.

9. He mingles with kids of his age and talks to them.

10. He fluently talks in Cebuano and Tagalog. Plus he practices his English language.

Sometimes being away from your child helps him become self-supporting. If my little absence means aiding him to grow and develop, by all means, I would love to give him space for him to do so. All the things he learned may not have come from me alone, but that’s life. Adults get wiser by experience and so does a child.

Still, make time for your family. I just remembered this song from series Seventh Heaven “where can you go when the world don’t treat you right. The answer is home. That’s the one place that you’ll find.”

Have a great day everyone!